When working with couples, it is not uncommon to recognize that the existing problem they are experiencing is a manifestation of the original relationship they grew out of; namely their parents and family of origin. Relationships tend to mimic the patterns of behavior that were known to individuals in their early child development. Those patterns become the microcosm of the world to them. All behavior comes naturally, as if everyone had the same history and upbringing. It is only when we become involved in a relationship that we realize our differences... When we enter a relationship we bring in all our customs, beliefs, values, experiences and expectations. That is when our relationships get into trouble. Each member of the dyad is out to prove their way is the better way. Comfort zones are created over time, and then become integrated over the years... For instance, a simple issue can be originated in how each person enjoyed their Xmas celebration. Mary’s family may have opened the Xmas presents on Xmas eve and saved all the wrapping paper; whereas John’s family chose to open the presents on Xmas morning and throw away the paper. In their present relationship, Mary and John must work out a compromise and learn how to communicate and negotiate their differences in order to promote the welfare of their present relationship. These patterns of “doing what comes naturally”, becomes pervasive in all relationships including both personal and professional.
Women and relationships is such a common theme that I have chosen this topic as an umbrella for future blog articles to write on this website. Every article produced will continue to run the theme of women and relationships, each one providing specific information for every subject dealing with women and their relationships.
Look for WOMEN AND MEN: The Nature of the Beasts, in the next article.