|workshops all over the world. The two day Intensive
I will structure as the main core modality of my practice, delivers
the results most couple’s cannot achieve in years with
traditional counseling. The only requirement to engage in this
process is that BOTH parties say, “YES” (having
a sense of good will) to move their relationship/marriage forward.
It was Martin Buber, the Jewish philosopher
who said that we are wired for connection. When we disconnect,
we go into crisis. It is then, that the relational space in
which the couple lives with their children becomes polluted.
This two day Intensive is designed to help couples go deep into
each other’s world by Crossing the Bridge to their partner’s
neighborhood and seeing perhaps, for the first time, their partner’s
essence and authentic self that they may never have known before.
It teaches presence, encounter and connection in a way that
really works. The couple learns how to exchange their survival
roles for their authentic selves so that they no longer are
stuck in their unhealthy dynamic of existence. I have witnessed
many transformations that were never before able to be accomplished
through other therapeutic interventions. Although the costs
are steep, ($3500.00) for the two days, it is a lot cheaper
that the cost of a divorce and more importantly, can save the
couple and their children from multiple heartaches and suffering.
Having been in private practice for nearly 35 years, this process
has produced a new and vital energy in me, (at the ripe young
age of 72), that is prompting me to incorporate this as my niche
in private practice and to introduce this to our community.
It will become my life’s work.
COUPLE AND FAMILY THERAPY
Now, in the autumn years of my life and work, I have
engaged in a three year Master Class with Hedy Schleifer, MA,
a skilled master in couple’s work. For years I have used
all the skills, tools and resources I have learned over more
than thirty four years, but never have a found a technology
more effective than the work Hedy has created to help couple’s
clean up the polluted relational space in couple’s lives
to create the most positive outcomes I have ever seen. These
outcomes provide couples with a formula that works and one they
can use at home without a therapist once they learn how to use
it. This technology has proven successful all over the world
and Hedy has now decided to teach it to experienced therapists
who are interested in working with couples.
I have attended workshops with Hedy and have involved
myself along with my couples in weekends of repair and resolution.
The results have been astounding and the best part is that is
lasts. Visit Hedy’s website @ www.Hedy/Yumi.com to learn
more about this wonderful philosophy and therapeutic modality.
In the meantime, please consider visiting me for working out
the issues in your relationship with state of the arts technology
in marital counseling!
Quite often it is necessary to see a spouse or significant other
in order that the left hand knows what the right hand is doing.
Couples therapy can often help individuals work through issues
that cannot be resolved in Individual Therapy. As a PAIRS leader,
(see highlighted title), I employ the methods and models of
treatment I learned many years ago to assist couples to work
through their differences and cultivate healthy intimacy.
The same is true with families. The dynamics in families are
often hidden when only one family member is intreatment. It
is necessary to observe how the family works in motion. Family
Therapy allows the therapist an opportunity to see constructs
that would ordinarily be missed in Individual sessions. Observing
patterns of communication and the dynamics of interaction provides
the therapist with insight for making suggestions that allows
growth and change in the family system.
The fees for individual, couple or family therapy are $200.00
2 Day Intensive Therapy
Advancing technology in couple’s counseling
has paved the way to perpetual possibilities and hope for healthier
relationships. We now know ways to teach couples to reconnect
and reach levels of intimacy never before realized. We understand
that human beings are wired for connection and when we disconnect,
we go into crisis. The goal is to help couples become authentic;
to relinquish their survival roles so they can discover each other,
perhaps for the first time, thus allowing them to fall in love
again. When the relational space between them becomes polluted,
a “disconnect” is certain to happen. When we clean
up the contaminated space, we reconnect with a more meaningful,
honest and mature relationship than ever thought possible. The
basis of this work is adapted from Martin Buber, the Jewish philosopher,
who said, ” When two individuals are in their essence, time
is eternal.” This was the origin of the “I/thou”
The format is a two-day therapeutic intensive ($3500.00), executed
consecutively or close together. Insurance will not cover this
procedure. (It is important to note that this is far less expensive
than a divorce.) This work requires a special and unique approach.
A traditional psychotherapeutic hour is not appropriate, as the
treatment requires mass time therapy to obtain optimum results.
*Another facet of ENCOUNTER-CENTERED COUPLES THERAPY is called
THE GOOD-BYE PROCESS. Derived from Imago Therapy, it provides
closure for those couples who choose to separate or divorce. They
will learn how to release old resentments and experience constructive
closure: a healing way to end their relationship.
Through this process the couple learns they can be friends, even
after divorce. They learn a new way to be connected and proceed
in their lives with added relational understanding and maturity.
If the couple has children, they will increase and strengthen
their parenting skills.
Some couples suddenly see the possibility of a new way to be connected.
They will say goodbye with honor, dignity and respect to their
relationship and each other. Perhaps this is hard to imagine,
but it works! THE GOODBYE PROCESS is also a two-day Intensive
where couples can say goodbye to the good as well as the bad.
Psycho-educational programs for the learning and development of
. . .
Practical Applications of Intimate Relationship Skills
Founded by Lori Gordon, PhD, PAIRS (Practical Application of
Intimate Relationship Skills), provides opportunities for change
and growth in couples. PAIRS teach couples how to move their
relationship forward to better communication that results in
better understanding. The tools provided by a PAIRS LEADER helps
facilitate couples through their conflicts and gives each partner
a better understanding of the needs and wounds of one other.
Often our history complicates our present and dictates our future.
By learning how to discharge the anger, hurt and fears of our
childhood, we can clear a new path for love and commitment in
our present relationships. Simple exercises and ground rules
for FAIR FIGHTING help couples deal respectfully and effectively
with one another. It teaches them to honor the pain and shame
each brings to a relationship, unwittingly. It offers new ways
to deal with old issues. It builds tolerance and intimacy that
results in a deeper love for one another.
Based on the contributions of many psychologists and psychotherapists,
PAIRS synthesizes the work of expert clinicians who have developed
their own theories and ideas that have each been a part of a
whole system of techniques. PAIRS is the collaboration of all
Having been a PAIRS LEADER since 1997, I feel confident that
this model can effectuate positive change in couples who are
willing to commit to the process.